31-12-2010 - Another Year..

Well, how time flies.. it is the last day of the year again. How have I been this year? Not so bad, I suppose.

For start, she had not called me since we came back from our Vietnam trip. I finally blown my top and told her off. I am just sick of her Da Xiao Jie attitude. I feel that this is the end. Should I call her and try to work things out again? No, I dun think so. Do I missed her? Yes and No. Yes, I missed the good times we had together but no when I think of all the arguements that we have. Andy was right that I will be soft hearted if she called me but with her stubborn character, I dun think she will ever call to apologize or work things out. Maybe it is good that we continue with our lives without each other, spare ourself the arguements and disappointments. How long more should I wait? I dunno, maybe after the Chinese New Year? I dunno, I have to make this official soon and get on with my life. I may feel lonely at times but emm, it doesn't really bother me that much now. Whatever decision that I make, I should not regret in the future.

On job wise, I am getting more and more comfortable. Good pay, bonus and no one to actually give your stress.. is this good? maybe, I dunno but I think I am sometimes giving myself too much stress by having higher expectation of myself and other people. Based on the feedback given from a recent internal feedback survey, some people think I am not been too nice with my approach when I talk to them. Yes, I think they right but sometime, some people just need someone to talk to them in a nasty manner before things can get done. Sometimes, I just dun understand how this company works, with so many bo chap people around. People who just work using their mouth but no action. Anyway, there are so many issues with the company but many does not matter to me at all. I must learn to ignore issues which have no affect on me. Been too helpful will only put into more trouble, less say not been appreciated. I dunno how long more I will stay in this company but I cannot get myself too comfortable or I will be become complacent and like what they use to say "become more and more stupid".

On the financial wise, I have been paying regularly but emm, the debts does not seem to be reducing. Anyway, I managed to clear quite a chunk with my bonus. I have to set myself some targets to achieve, every outstanding loan cleared is a step to been debt free. Of course there are the distractions of soccer betting, card buying and other unsound indulgence. I dunno but personally if it help to keep my mind clear and reduce my stress, I think it is worth spending.. but not too much. Settling my debts should be the first priority!

What have I been doing during my free time? Well, I tried to do more volunteer work but recently I felt that I have to be more selective instead of been so helpful. Sometimes, it doesn't pay to be so helpful. The recent CDAC back for school bag distribution event is one such example. Been appointed a volunteer leader this year, I felt that I have the added responsibilty to ensure the event goes well. I took leave and offer additional help in printing the pin-ups but emm, ended up I felt I probably have done too much. My partner, the other volunteer leader, doesn't seem to care at all, coming late and going off immediately after the event. Been a responsible person, I just have to clear the stuff myself. Am I pissed off. Definately. But I only have myself to blame. I have to learn to be more selfish and not to make myself so helpful.

I will be turning 35 years old year.. the time for waiting for true love is getting shorter and shorter, maybe I should just remain single.. I aimed to buy a house next year so hope I can afford it and dun need to loan too much money. I have enough of owing money.

Money is always a sensitive issue. Helping a friend by giving a loan to settle his problems may sound the right thing to do but relationship become sour when the friend is not able to pay you. I am glad that this issue with Victor was finally resolved but the damage have been done. I hope we can still be good friends.

Health had been an issue for me. Been done with some health issues basically every month, either it is bad cough, a sore knee, piles and the regular running stomach. I should do more to improve my health since I am getting older.

So what do I hope to achieve in the new year? For a start, I hope to visit more places, this year have been good, I visited Australia and Vietnam. I hope to visit Taiwan and Macau next year and maybe to visit Vietnam again. I should treat myself well and get a break whenever I think deserved it. I did not managed to get a professional certification this year unlike what I did every year. I hope to take up some courses next year, in particular the ISO Lead Auditors Course which I have been craving for the past few years. Maybe a Masters or Specialist course if I can afford it. What else? Emm, I hope to meet someone that deserved my love although I have not completely given up on her, relationships are hard to come by and it should be treasured instead of letting it go so easily. It also have been eight years since I last drive, I think it is time for me to go for a refresher course and maybe if I can afford it, pamper myself with a second car. Maybe.. But settling my debts or reducing my debts to a more manageable amount should be my first priority. I am not into setting new year resolutions but I need to have some to at least give me something to look forward to in the new year.

Goodbye 2010, Hello 2011. Forget about the disappointments in the past year and look forward to the wonderful things in the new year. Meng Chye, be happy, be cheerful, dun be so helpful, be healthy, be more money wise, be less tempermental, be more tolerance.. 2011 will be a great year! Happy New Year everyone! Happy New Year My Love, I hope you are doing well.. Take Care!