Week 4 & 5

The past 2 weeks have been sort of challenging and busy for me.. There are lots of things I wanna write and share but emm will try to keep it short.

I got my taste of the new management as well the "US Company Chinese Management" approach in the last 2 weeks. I am quite lucky to get out of several difficult situation alive. For a start, I have several meetings with my new US boss and presented some stuff which the local management dun really wanna discussed about.. for reasons known to them.. and I thought this was a US company with an open approach.. no no.. it is a chinese company which expects their staff to always present the good side of things and leave the bad things aside (as in, you managed on your own, dun need to bring up). I am also profound by how important issues that need to be resolved can seemingly be reduced to a non-critical complaint by the local management in just a matters of minutes.. that is really an art by itself.. for one, I am happy with the new boss, he is more straight forward and open like most Americans, if there is a problem, bring it up and we discussed and try to resolve it instead of pushing around like our chinese culture.. but then, I also have my fair share of Americans who have learn to taiji things around.. it gonna take a while for me to learn but emm hope I managed to survive till then..

Work wise have been tight... but mostly trying to resolve people's problem rather than my own.. It doesn't pay to be helpful sometimes but emm, dun think I gonna elaborate on this... just that I am ashamed that I still behaved so naive at my age but emm, maybe it is becos I am too nice and sympathetic towards people's situation rather than giving more thought for my own well-being. Since my character is that way and I find it very hard to change, I guess I will just have to go on been naive and nice while trying to avoid getting into difficult situations.. Maybe due to the work or some personal issues, I am kinda short-tempered and flared up easily over small issues recently.. a lot of those have to do with my ego problem, especially when someone violates of challenge my authority.. emm... dunno how to manage this.. maybe try to avoid such situation by minding my own business and concentrate on doing my own things..

I dunno if I make a good friend to people I treat as friends.. I get worried too much about their well being until sometimes I get affected also.. be it with the friend who is becoming a father but isn't doing so well with his renovation business, the friend who work long hours without getting paid a dime extra, the friend who is worried about his studies and financial problems, the friend who just resigned and looking for a job in a similar line as me, the friend who just become an insurance agent and worried about about making ends meet... I dunno but emm, maybe it is my way of showing concern to them.. my approach may be too harsh.. the tone.. the messages.. the way I talk.. but emm, I hope they do understand.. I do care and I am worried when things dun go well for them... but then is things going well for me?

I can't say that I am happy with the ways thing are now.. for a start, I am still spending unnecessary.. although it is very much controlled but emm.. I have to have better control on determining the difference between "unnecessary" and "investment". I also take an easy view on my spending, giving myself the consolation that it is an investment worth making.. ya.. maybe that is why I am in such shit situation now.. but emm.. at the present moment, I am managing but barely.. have to have better control..

A lot of people asked me about me and Zhu.. all I can say is that we will let nature takes its course.. I am not putting in much hope in it which is probably why I am pumping in so many OT hours or activities to keep my mind occupied.. Just had a chat with Zhu after about 2 weeks, have a good long chat.. if you asked me what I prefer.. 2 short chats a week or a nice long chat every 2 weeks.. I think I would prefer the long chat... having a friend to chat and listen to you is hard to come by, less say one from the opposite sex.. no matter what.. I will cherished this relationship I am having with Zhu now.. as a very good friend..

Chinese New Year is just days away and yes, I am glad I will be working from the 1st to 3rd day.. not that I really need to work but emm.. I want to.. cos I have to keep my mind occupied and also the extra money will come in handy.. I did not send out any cards this year, been wanting to do so but just cannot find the "time" to do so.. an excuse again.. emm, something just come to my mind.. when I was in the insurance business, my dear manager, Edwin, will always asked us what we planned to do for the week.. I will tell him I planned to do this and this and this.. he will then asked me.. what am I doing now... since I am not doing anything now... why not do what I planned to do now? Complicated? I dun suppose so.. what he tried to instill in our mind is time is precious.. why not action now when you have the time instead of pondering over what you "planned" to do.. Happy Lunar New Year Everyone.. May everyone have a happy and prosperous new year!