Week 35?

It's been a long time since I last blogged. How have I been doing? Overall, I would say not too bad. There have been disappointments and also happy moments.

On my debt situation, I would say there is hardly any reduction in the debts I owe. Again, self-discipline and control have a part to play. But recently things have beginning to pick up a little, been getting some money from 4D winnings. Yes, I spent quite a fair bit on 4D but emm, a habit die hard and the investment is kinda paying off now. But still maybe I should reconsider... I am also changing my job soon, got a very very good offer and also thinking of the potential sum of money I am going to make next year, I hope I will be able to clear a few credit cards next year. But then action speaks loudly than words, it is up to me to make it happen..

I was telling everyone in my company that it is a tough decision to leave as I really enjoy my time in this company. But then if not considering the pull factor from the new company, which is the pay package. I asked myself a few questions.. advancement prospects? management support? job security? office romance?.. these have been thinking.. I am now an engineer II in my company which is somewhere between senior engineer and engineer, considering the current organisation structure, it will take me a while to reach the manager post but then if we already have a manager and I dun think he is going to go up any higher, which means the advancement prospects is real limited... management support is there but in many occassion, the operational requirements becomes more important than my EH&S requirements, despite reminders and one-to-one coaching, people especially the supervisors are still not following what they are supposed to do and I have to cover up for them or answer for their actions. With pressure from the Corporate, it seems like I am fighting a losing battle... Job security as mentioned earlier may not actually be there, my role is to maintain the corporate requirements and meet the targets and objectives but so far I am struggling to meet these targets as there is hardly any ownership from these so called process owner. End of the day, to make these figures nice, we have to again do some cover up. I also got myself in at least 3 situations where I may get retrenched because of the company code of ethnics, confronting my colleagues/using company resources to do my own work etc. There were also cases of people getting retrenched because of others who "reported" on them. The company may be doing well in terms of sales with order book maybe stretching 10 yrs or more but I dun wanna get myself caught in a situation of been retrenched due to any of the above reasons.. Office romance is something i wanna avoid at all cost. After the mess with the Kellys and Ivys during my navy days, where I have to endure all the gossip and also the awkward situations of having to continue working with the same person, I tell myself that I will not eat and shit at the same place. Sad to say that but there is a handful of gers at my workplace now that I am having serious crush on and since I do not eat and shit at the same place, maybe it is a good thing that I leave but then I hope I can still maintain contact with them and hope things goes well..

Back to the $$$ thing, considering that I am getting a pay increment of 23% plus the company is paying good bonuses and doing well (at least at the present moment), it means that I dun have to work OT anymore to earn the extra money to pay off my debts. And if all work well, it means I will have more free time for myself. My new boss is also holding several portfolios now and also considering his age, I think I would have a better chance of holding a management or higher portfolio compared to where I am working now. Yes, it may all seems to point down to $$$ but I am just trying to be realistic, everyone is working for money isn't that correct? Also consider the fact that my salary increase but more than 50% compared to what I am earning 2 yrs ago, is that not the correct thing to do?

Love life have been ups and downs.. in May Zhu confirmed that she will not be coming and I have a hard time getting over it but then a couple of weeks later, she message me asking me to help her find a job. It then dragged on from telling me that if she come to Singapore I will have to take care of her (of course lah) to settling down in Singapore but then 3 weeks ago, she told me again that she confirmed not coming liao. Boy.. am I sad to hear that after been very positivetha things were beginning to look good. I am still having a hard time getting over it. To add to that, I am also beginning to have some sense of regret as during the time in May when she say she is not coming, I have made up my mind to go over a colleague of mine which was like going well as we were chatting quite o.k on the phone and also we went to a colleague wedding dinner together but emm after she told me she may changed her mind, I stopped all contacts with the colleague. On my, am I stupid or what. Now I am trying to figure out how to start all over again, especially after the company trip to JB, I am becoming more attracted to her. But then, it may be just a crush..

I went for my first real holiday last month to Bangkok, what do I mean by real. As in I am totally free of calls from the company and managed to keep my mind clear of all work related issues. I get myself a local phoneline for contacts with my friends who happened to be also in Bangkok. I spent a lot of time in the hotel sleeping and watching TV without having to miss going to the famous tourist spots like the chinatown, sunday market etc. I even find time to squeeze in a movie. The best part was on the last night, I was sleeping in my room when Mr J called and told me he is now outside my room and asked me to get out for supper. Although it is almost 1 am, the feeling is great as it seems like your friends have come a long way to visit you. Overall it was a good six day break.

In 3 weeks time, I will be going to a new environment with new challenges, new colleagues as well as new opportunies. I am going to miss my current workplace but it is a move I have to make and I am positive that it will be a move for the better. I am not sure who will be reading this but for those people whom I have told them if you need any help or someone to talk to they can find me, I actually meant it. I treasure friendship and hope you too. Take care and live life happy and positive!