10-10-10?

Another 5 months had passed and more frustration. What was suppose to be an enjoyable trip to Vietnam ended up with a potential split-up. Yes, I had enough. I finally blown my top and told her how I feel. Yes, I cried when I was saying this as I really dunno what I have done wrong. Why was she always so unhappy? Can't she just take it easy and forget about those small issues like me asking her not move around when I am trying to sleep on the bus to Cu-Chi tunnel. Yes, I know she dun like to be "scolded" as what she always described it but can't she be just be a bit more open-minded and not be so petty over such issues. I dunno but I have done so many things just to make try to make her happy. Take this Vietnam trip as an example, her classmate was getting married and she was invited. When she told me that, I could sense that she really wants to go to Vietnam but could not afford it. So since it was within my means, I proceeded with the trip hoping this will make her happy. But did not expect things to turn out this way. She wanted to talk to me but I told her this is not the right time as whenever it talks, she will change for a while and then be back to her temperamental self again. So I told her to concentrate on her new job and studies while she think through how it is best to proceed with our relationship which was not progressing but instead deteriorating. I also told her of her forever stubborn character which just refuses to accept help when she know she have no one else to turn to and I always ended up clearing the "shit" for her. I told her to call me only when her mind is clear and ready to talk. It had been more than 2 weeks and she had not called. Maybe that call will never come.. I am sad that things have to end this way but den this is life... why torment yourself with someone whom you know does not suit your own character... yes, there are no such thing as getting someone who really match your character but there are such things as a close match.. I have find myself doing stupid things again despite knowing that money is hard to come by.. I have to control and learn my lesson soon..I just cannot carried on like that... I need a change.. a change of my lifestyle.. a change in my approach to things.. I just need to change... Bless my soul...